It was a good pain. The dull aching of his muscles from a good work out was soothing to him and never failed to brighten his day. He examined himself in the mirror. His sun tanned skin glistened with sweat highlighting his toned body. He examined his biceps which were the main target of his work out today that were burning with life. Flexing, Sebastian assessed his body reviewing the effects of his current program and which areas to highlight in the future.
His eyes wandered up to meet themselves in the mirror and his good mood soured. Evelyn was never far from his thoughts. She was still ignoring his calls and probably more so after what happened yesterday. He started to recall those events in his mind. Her soft blue eyes not really focusing on him almost looking right through him and those tears. She was so beautiful and so distant. He recalled the way she withdrew from him and his heart plummeted at the memory.
“Yer mate, you’re not getting any prettier,” a voice called and his eyes darted to catch who had spoken behind him in the mirror.
“I don’t know why he bothers going to the gym, surely he has mirrors at home,” a second voice said rich with amusement. They were laughing as the passed by not even paying him enough attention to see if their jeers were heard. The first man was a tall muscular man early thirties with a sort of cocky walk to him. The second man was in his 40′s, short, round and hairy but Seb could tell that his bulk wasn’t all fat but he had a clumsy sort of a walk that suggested he’d be slow ‘I’d strike out at the tall guy first take advantage of his over confidence,’ Seb thought viciously . He narrowed his eyes at the pair until they were out of sight before finally heading into the shower.
His thoughts always wandered in the shower. The rising warm mist and the hot water roaring down drowning out any outside noise warmed his blood stirring thoughts of intimacy and desire. He thought of Eve’s lips. Her kiss was soft, delicate filled with an innocent yearning and a restraint that drove him crazy. Women seemed to enjoy making out a lot and ever so often their kissing would send his blood pumping and he would be overcome with lust. His hand would slip under her belt and she would immediately stop and place a restraining hand on his arm. When she offered to ‘relieve him’ that time he flushed with embarrassment profusely refused but he wished he had the guts to say yes.
That played on his mind more then he would ever admit to her. What had she meant and what would she do to ‘relieve’ him. He imagined her pulling out some book and going by a diagram asking about degree’s of strokes and tension requirements. Evelyn never really did seem like a sexual sort of woman. That sort of repression was the reason why he fell victim so easily to that slut. The way that girls hands sort of the right places… She was no stranger to sex that’s for sure. He felt himself respond to the memory and flushed with shame. Cutting off the hot water he let the freezing cold purge all thoughts.
“The person you are calling is not available, to send a free text message…”
No answer again. What would he say anyway? There wasn’t really much to say, he made such a mess of everything already and every time he spoke to her things just got worse. She kept ignoring his calls and trying to talk to her in person… was painful.
Could he really just move on and make his own life? No, he couldn’t imagine a life without her any more then he could without his legs, she was just too imbedded into his world. She’ll get over it, with time. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve to have this melt down so he’d just has to brave the storms and eventually all will be well. With that, he decided he wouldn’t call her again. Give her space and some time to cool off. All will be well.
The purr of the rotary engine vibrated through his body, the sound of the exhaust stirred his blood and the feel of the leather steering wheel in his hands honed his excitement. He slipped his shades on and hit the play button on the deck before launching off into the street. Windows down he let the music roll over him and quickly forgot everything but the cruise. Saturday beckoned and he was going to let loose and forget all the troubles of the week past and with that in mind he headed out for Scarborough.
He didn’t get far when he received a call on his mobile. The instant disappointment at recognising the ring tone as William’s was nothing to do with Will and Sebastian realised that no matter how he played it, this weekend was going to be as bad as the week its ending and the new week wasn’t looking particularly promising. He answered the phone with a sigh.
“Hey Will,”
“Gee man, I can feel the love, is that how much I mean to you?” Will said.
“Words can never express my undying love and adoration of you William,”
“Oh Sebastian, why have you never told me of these feelings before,”
Sebastian smiled, “Well, if we are quite done with this broke back moment, what’s up?”
Laughing William said, “Its Saturday mate, was going see what you’re doing, going to let loose aren’t you? Was thinking we hit Scarborough and maybe shoot some pool, and see where the night takes us, I heard there’s a cruise on as well.”
The night did have promise and he had planned do as much himself but he was quickly coming to terms with the fact that going out wasn’t going to help him escape these dark thoughts.
“I think I’m going to have a quite one, relax have a few drinks maybe watch a movie,” Seb replied.
After a slight pause Will finally said, “Alright, have a good one. Call me if you want company or if you change your mind about going out,”
William was a so perceptive sometimes it concerned Sebastian leaving him wondering if he was that transparent.
“Thanks Will,”
“Anytime Seb,”
Pulling into the drive way he picked up his mobile and noticed a flashing message.
You have received 1 new message
I missed your call, you wanted to say something to me?
‘So cold, of course I want to say something, but what?
I don’t want things to end this way. I need you. Please give me another chance. I can’t imagine life without you. I don’t want to imagine it. I miss you so much.
I miss you too. I don’t want it to end like this either. What are you doing tonight? Out with Will at Scarborough?
‘I’m that predictable am I?’
No actually. After everything I’m just going to stay home. Watch a movie.
Really? That’s a surprise, What Movie?
Ghost Rider. It’s another comic book film.
I wanted to watch that one.
‘She wanted to watch Ghost Rider?’
Your welcome to come over and watch it with me.
‘Yer right, as if it would be that easy,’
What time?
‘Oh my god, What?’ Seb stared at her message for a few moments re-reading those two words trying to tell him self he wasn’t imagining things. ‘She can’t be serous can she?’
About 6 would be great. I was going to order something in and watch it over dinner.
Okay, I’ll bring some Chinese with me. See you at 6.
“The Hell?” Sebastian said out load. He couldn’t believe she was actually coming over. He started to think maybe it was a joke and she wouldn’t actually come but he quickly pushed those thoughts out as Evelyn just wasn’t like that.
He decided then and there he won’t push her in any way. He didn’t want to upset her again and he really didn’t want to get nutted again. ‘I wouldn’t of thought that was like Evelyn either.’ Let her set the pace and do most the talking and perhaps things will smooth over. The Storm isn’t over yet.
She arrived an hour late carrying in her possession steaming Noodle Box. He met her at the door having been waiting anxiously for her half an hour prior to the time she said she would arrive. Wisely, he didn’t mention any of this and just smiled warmly and greeted her as naturally as he could manage taking the bag from her hands and bringing it into the kitchen. She returned his greeting following him into the kitchen and when he placed the bag down and turned to face her she was looking at him expectantly.
Unbidden, his arms moved on their own and somehow he was holding her in his arms. He held her desperately and felt tears sting his eyes and he shut them and concentrated on the feeling of her against his chest, the herbal smell of her shampoo and the sweet fruity scent of her perfume. Evelyn, the girl he was madly in love with. The girl he betrayed.
Softly, she lifted herself of him and he reluctantly let her go looking into her eyes he saw… nothing. She had a neutral expression on her face and casually gestured to the bag behind him.
“Its better when it’s hot, shall we start?” Evelyn said.
‘She really means to watch Ghost Rider?’ “Okay, well, no ones home so lets head into the main theatre room,”
Evelyn nodded her ascent and remained silent as he led her down the hall into the theatre room.
Grabbing the remote he switched on the projector and placed himself on the couch a little of centre. Surprising him, she sat down next to him and calmly started to blow the steam from the top of her opened Noodles. He watched her for awhile before finally she noticed him staring and turned to look at him. Those eyes that locked onto him were expressionless, a cold, neutral mask that hurt him to behold and after a pause she said, “Well?”
Staring blankly at her it took him a few moments to realise she was referring to the movie and quickly reached across to get the required remote almost spilling his noodles in the process. He waited for some sly comment about his lack of grace and when she said nothing he just let out a short awkward laugh before starting the movie.
They watched the movie in silence eating their noodles and finally eating their fill set the half empty containers aside and he became infinitely aware of the distance between them. ‘Be glad she’s sitting even this close don’t expect things to go back…,’ his thoughts were interrupted as she suddenly leaned over covering the distance and placing her head against his shoulder.
“You’ve been spending too much time at the gym. Your arms aren’t as soft as they once were,” Evelyn casually said.
His mind going a million miles per hour he wasn’t too sure what to say or do and finally through a series of grunts negotiated her onto his chest with his arm around her shoulder. The way his heart was beating in his chest he would of thought this was the first time but this level of intimacy was far beyond what he could of hoped for. ‘Maybe it’s not such a big storm after all?’
His arm was instantly itchy for no apparent reason other then his other arm was no longer able to scratch it without dislodging Evelyn so he steeled himself to ignore everything to remain as still as possible so she had no reason to move.
Despite his resolve other areas of his body also started to itch throughout the movie but he endured it pondering if women ever really knew the little sacrifices men do for them. His body eventually started to numb and he only regained feeling when Evelyn squirmed about or jumped at scary scenes on the film.
The movie ended and as the credits started to roll he waited for Evelyn to move. Having not moved for awhile he started to ponder if she fell asleep and listened to her rhythmic breathing savouring the feel of her against his body and thanked the heavens he could once again enjoy her like this.
“Warm,” she purred.
Knowing she was awake he adjusted her so that he could stroke her head with his free hand and before long she started to squirm against him. He released his grip on her and she detached herself from him placing her hand on his thigh to lift herself up raising her head level with his and looked into his eyes expectantly. The closeness of her and her breath against his lips sent his blood boiling. Without thinking he leaned forward and kissed her.
At first her lips didn’t respond but slowly she started to return his kiss and he felt her hands explore his body. Their kissing intensified and his hands did some exploring of their own and before long became a little too bold. He wanted to stop but wasn’t able to and waited for her restraining hand. Her kissing was passionate confident and knowing and he started to doubt if this was the same girl he was with and suddenly he felt her hands seek out his excitement and he pulled back in shock. Massaging him she looked into his eyes and asked him, “Do you want me to,” slightly inclining her head down.
Shocked he couldn’t quite say anything and just mumbled unintelligible words of agreement.
She was good, better then he could ever have thought and quickly brought him to conclusion within a few short minutes. Straightening up she looked him in the eyes. He expected to see her flushed with embarrassment or maybe even lust but what he saw cut him deep in his heart.
Those same eyes, cold, neutral uncaring looking back at him. She continued to stare at him and through him as she raised a hand to wipe her mouth and then she said in a voice as cold as ice.
“I may never forgive you, I don’t think I can love you the same way anymore. But I will stay with you.” Without another word she lifted herself to her feet and walked away.
He felt so detached he was numb to the world falling deeper and deeper into a pool of despair. He didn’t even hear her leave. The DVD menu was back on and repeating it’s animation on a loop but he didn’t hear that as he sobbed to himself ashamed and broken. The storm had ravaged him.